Marci Hirsch
The Deeper Throat Reality Show - Episode 5; Steve Hirsch to Robert Interlandi: You’re a Punk Kid
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 | Deeper Throat TV Show, From Gene Ross | No Comments
Robert Interlandi and Steve Hirsch
DEEP THROAT NEWS — BLOG
Story by Gene Ross at www.adultfyi.com
I realize I’m giving away the secrets to the sawing the lady in half trick, but at no time on camera in the Showtime Deeper Throat reality series does Vivid’s Steve Hirsch actually choke Robert Interlandi, Arrow’s marketing director, www.xxxdeepthroat.com.
But Hirsch comes pretty darn close in Episode 5 as Interlandi continues to be irascible, and Paul Thomas continues to play the martyr as Hirsch stops by the shoot to see what all the hubbub is about. In Episode 4, Interlandi got through toilet papering Thomas car because he didn’t see eye to eye with the way Thomas and Vivid were shunting him in their efforts to remake Deep Throat.
By the time this episode opens up, Thomas is in Day 2 of the remake. Thomas describes his reinvention of the plot as a serious murder mystery about a girl with a deformity in her throat. Sasha Grey is playing the lead.
“The next two days are absolutely critical to the success of the movie,” Thomas is saying, not knowing that Interlandi’s about to wreak a little more havoc on the set.
“The asshole Robert’s got to say away from my set,” Thomas is saying.
His prayers basically go unanswered when Interlandi, who was skateboarding earlier in Venice, shows up with a beer pong table and draws the crew into some friendly competition.
Channeling Rodney Dangerfield, Interlandi’s saying he doesn’t get any of the respect that he deserves.
“I represent Arrow, the original owners of Deep Throat. We’re supposed to be their fucking partner but all I’m getting is the runaround.”
Thomas is perplexed.
“I don’t have the slightest idea why he’s doing all these strange things.”
Thomas also believes in the old Al Pacino adage about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer.
“I’m not going to let him know that he’s affecting me or my show,” continues Thomas revealing his strategy.
“I’m just going to kill him with kindness. Let him play his little ping-bong game. But if I’m going to have to stare at this punk’s face all day I’m going to at least put him to work.”
Which means Thomas wants Interlandi to be an extra. Interlandi tries some lines of dialogue but Thomas feels it’s probably best if Interlandi melts into the background.
“I’m so tired of being disrespected- fuck P.T.,” says Interlandi in frustration.
“Fuck Vivid. Fuck the whole fucking project. They can shove it up their fucking ass.”
For her part, Grey’s back is killing her, she’s on her period and she’s late arriving to the set. Also nervous about her anal scene with Evan Stone, Grey expresses the hope that everyone isn’t high on the set but comments later to her boyfriend that everyone was drunk.
On the other hand, Thomas expresses confidence that Grey can dive into her scene cold. But Grey wants time to warm up and is now the object of more gossip because of that.
“She needs to do what she needs to do and I’ll give her more time,” states Thomas.
Marci Hirsch, Hirsch’s sister is using her son Jordan who’s been hired as a P.A. to be a spy in the set. Jordan, in turn, gives her the skinny on how P.T. kicked one of the female performers, Sarah Vandella, off the set.
Grey has an accident, and P.T. muses that Jordan’s getting a crash course in feminine hygiene. Jordan, later, admits that although his mother works in porn, she’s pretty uptight about it.
It’s also brought to P.T.’s attention that Interlandi gave an interview to one of the porn gossip sites about how he wasn’t getting any input. [The site was Adultfyi, but no mention is made of that.]
After reading the post [Hirsch also has a look at it], Thomas comments that, “all of this shit is so inconsequential- who’s got time for it?”
Hirsch also makes a strange comment.
“I never thought I would have a chance to make a new Deep Throat movie and I hope some day my kids understand- really I do it all for them.”
Mentioning that going to the set is one of his least favorite things to do, Hirsch is now informed that he really needs to get to the set to diffuse the Interlandi situation.
“I’ve got a ton of money riding on this,” he says.
Calling Interlandi “disruptive,” Hirsch wonders how you deal with him.
“What is this guy, 8 years old? He’s a punk.”
“He’s obnoxious and childish,” Marci Hirsch adds.
By Day Three of the shoot, Thomas, in abrupt-mode, notes that cast and crew are tired and everyone’s making mistakes. One dialogue scene in particular is going haywire. Thomas complains that a machine shop next door is intrusive and that two of the extras couldn’t deliver their lines if their lives depended on it. One of them is fired for stepping all over the crime scene.
In Vegas, meanwhile, Pistol is getting reports from Interlandi to suggest that Arrow’s going to need to take the bull by the horns and shoot their own version. Convinced that a girl named Ariel whom he auditioned [in Episode One] may have what it takes, Pistol invites a sex educator named Morgan Ray to give Ariel lessons on deep throating and how to overcome the gag reflex with some mouth exercises and a banana.
Interlandi makes attempts at a peace offering by passing out Deep Throat energy drinks, shirts and DVDs - none of which is appreciated especially when Interlandi hands Grey some swag and chats with her while she’s in the middle of taking some pretty girls.
Interlandi’s idea behind this is to piss Hirsch off, and he succeeds. They take it out to the parking lot.
“She’s trying to work,” Hirsch tells Interlandi. “In the most pivotal scene why is it you need to have a discussion with her?”
“We were team deep Throat,” says Interlandi. “I didn’t get to know who the chick is that you picked. You didn’t do a talent search.”
“Are you nuts!?” Hirsch asks.
“You got the usual suspects,” continues Interlandi who reminds Hirsch again that he’s vice president of Arrow.
“I don’t care what you are,” answers Hirsch. “I give that zero credibility, your track record as a producer and director. It’s time for you to head on out. You’re a punk kid.”
“I’m vice president of a fucking company,” Interlandi keeps reminding him. Hirsch has one last comment to make.
“You haven’t shot a fucking movie- thank you, good bye.”
Interlandi kicks a gate on his way out and gives Hirsch the finger.
The Deeper Throat Reality Show - Episode Four - Sarah Vandella Gets Kicked Off the Set
Monday, April 6th, 2009 | Deeper Throat TV Show, From Gene Ross | No Comments
Sarah Vandella
DEEP THROAT NEWS —
Story by Gene Ross from www.adultfyi.com
There was Martha and the Vandellas, and they never did anything wrong. But Sarah Vandella [pictured] couldn’t seem to do anything right as far as Vivid and director Paul Thomas were concerned.
So by the time the Deeper Throat reality TV show which aired on Showtime reaches the fourth episode, tempers are flaring and P.T.’s losing it. Of course Arrow Productions’ Robert Interlandi toilet papering P.T.’s car didn’t help matters, either.
We also learn that Sasha Grey’s got a boyfriend named Ian and they’ve been together for three years and are planning to marry. Grey started her industry career during her first semester of college by appearing in a Rocco orgy movie whereupon she deep throated him. Grey mentions how she and Ian are still trying to find a place to live and are in the middle of moving with the Deeper Throat project fast coming up.
Ian talks about how, with Grey’s career, he has to schedule sex with the person he’s in love with. But they find ways. It’s mentioned how Grey bruised his butthole during one of those sessions and how Ian felt really gay about it. However if Grey wants to continue in the business for the next ten years, Ian says he supports that.
Thomas is ready to begin shooting and in a conversation with Vivid PM Shailar Cobi, Thomas mentions how Arrow’s going to have someone on the set to keep watch over things. Cobi calls Interlandi and Arrow owner Ray Pistol “yahoos”.
“Robert knows everything about nothing,” Cobi continues.
“They’re not going to influence me, they’re not going to interrupt me,” P.T. insists. But he’s pissed off that babysitters are going to be on the set.
“This little kid Robert isn’t a fucking filmmaker.”
Yahoos or not, Arrow has a Plan B in the event that Vivid screws up. They’re going to team up with Farrell Timlake of Homegrown Video to make their own movie.
“It’s the biggest amateur porn site on the planet,” says Interlandi in a meeting with Pistol. Timlake mentions that the company goes back to 1982.
“Beyond the sex we’re looking for someone to represent the company,” Pistol is saying.
“We want someone who’s going to be a team player and is not going to do something crazy like runoff and become a nun.”
Meanwhile Steve Hirsch is having a birthday party at his house, and his sister Marci’s son Jordan wants to come on a set. Hirsch doesn’t have a problem with it as long as Jordan realizes he has to pitch in and work. He’ll be brought in as a P.A.
Hirsch later asks P.T. why Vandella’s being included in this project.
“Because she’s a firecracker,” responds Thomas.
“She might be a firecracker- she’ll blow up my movie,” Hirsch fears. “P.T., this isn’t the time to take a chance.”
On Vandella’s behalf, Thomas says she deep throats well but acknowledges the fact she was an asshole to a few people the last time she worked for the company.
“It was an adventure- we put up with some of her attitude,” P.T. explains. But Hirsch is still leery about the decision to bring the abrasive Vandella aboard fearing that she’s a bomb ready to go off.
The first day of the Deeper Throat shoot is scheduled at The Zone which is a gay sex club in Hollywood. P.T. explains the murder mystery aspect of the script and how a girl has been taken advantage of by people in her life. The police are investigating the murder at the club. Grey’s first scene in the movie is a peep show scene in which she’s seen blowing an orthodox Jew.
The gossip heads are buzzing about Vandella being a girl who’s notorious for bringing drama and her issues to sets. The feeling voiced by P.T. becomes one of having to work within Vandella’s attention span before she goes off.
Interlandi doesn’t learn until early afternoon when he gets a call from Pistol that Vivid began shooting. He’s not too happy about it plus the fact that Hirsch and Co, didn’t keep him in the loop, that they had a script, that they picked a girl [Grey] and basically blew him off.
“Pistol’s going to be pissed that this is a serious movie,” Interlandi is heard to mutter.
“And I’m tired of P.T. and these fucking dipshits over here. I know exactly what’s going to get their attention.”
Interlandi begins toilet papering Thomas’ car.
Attention or not, Thomas isn’t too impressed with Interlandi. Even less when he learns what Interlandi’s done to his vehicle.
“Robert is very young and obviously doesn’t know a tenth about the profession but he thinks he does,” P.T. says before the car issue. Thomas feels the shoot’s going well. That is until Vandella prompts him to have a meltdown.
Thomas is then informed what Interlandi’s done.
“Toilet papering my car?” asks Thomas who puts the question to Interlandi.
“Why in the world would you do that?”
“I didn’t get a copy of the script- when you don’t play team Deep Throat that stuff happens,” Interlandi tells him.
“I don’t even know how to respond to that,” comments a bewildered Thomas who winds up kissing and making up with Interlandi.
Vandella for some apparent reason has set Thomas off as well and he loses it. Thomas bellows with rage.
“You fucked up from the first fucking day!” he yells at her.
“Get you’re fucking ass out of here! You’re the biggest fucking pain in the ass I’ve ever seen in my life! You have no business being here. You’re the most contrary sonofabitch I’ve ever seen in my life! Get out! Get your shit and get out of here! Go! Get the fuck off my set! Shailar walk this bitch off my set. Everything she’s done on the set has been a big fucking pain in the ass! Toilet paper her. Get her out of here! Go! Keep walking!”
After telling P.T. he can go suck her 12-inch mother fucking cock, Vandella walks off alright- along with her model release which means the scene she was just in has to be scrapped.
The Deeper Throat Reality Show - a review; Episode Two
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 | Deeper Throat TV Show, From Gene Ross | No Comments
DEEP THROAT NEWS –
Story by Gene Ross at www.adultfyi.com
Steve Hirsch and Paul Thomas
Even Steve Hirsch’s wife in episode Two winces and draws exaggerated gasps at the mention of P.T.’s initials.
“What’s he doing HERE?” she gasps, learning that Thomas is paying a visit to the house. Thomas in 23 years of working for him has never paid a call on Hirsch privately at his house. Hirsch, set on giving Thomas the bum’s rush, immediately comments on the sorry state of P.T.’s shoes and tells him he looks like he hasn’t slept in three days. Later in bed [shirtless], Hirsch is reading the script to his wife’s annoyance. She admits she never watches any of the Vivid movies. Hirsch used to make that very same point as well.
“I read scripts when they’re important,” states Hirsch. “This is one of the stupidest scripts I’ve ever read in my entire life.”
“Have you taken a look at P.T. lately?” Laurie Hirsch asks, gritting. Hirsch later berates P.T. on the job he’s done.
“It’s not very good- it’s a poor attempt. You’re going to have another script that works and get it done now!” If not, Hirsch tells him he’s got other guys lined up to take his place.
Now, is this all a preposterous goof? Or is there something to the 1,000 yard stare P.T. exhibits in his efforts to sell Hirsch on an impossibly bad rendition of a new Deep Throat? Who’s to say. But if it’s a gimmick, it’s certainly well played and quite believable.
And Robert Interlandi, Arrow’s marketing director, who’s being something of a gadfly in Hirsch’s ointment, comments that P.T. is Hirsch’s “playtoy”.
The series as it unfolds pits Arrow Productions Ray Pistol “The porn baron from Sin City,” in a battle of wits with Hirsch which is now being settled by lawyers from both sides. Pistol at least on camera calls Hirsch’s attempts “badgering”. Hirsch on the other hand is convinced he’ll talk Pistol into an agreement or die trying.
As far as the reality series is concerned, Hirsch wants to remake Deep Throat and calls it the biggest movie in the history of the adult world. Hirsch has probably seen those $600 M Deep Throat revenues being quoted and wants a chunk of that pie. Thomas, though, at one point concedes it might be “difficult” to get the rights to a classic like Deep Throat.
“If we don’t have the green light on the project, I’m going to forge ahead anyway,” declares P.T. which gives you pause to wonder about keeping agreements.
Pistol in his next meeting with Hirsch brings a gun.
“Gee I hope those things aren’t loaded,” Hirsch observes.
“They’re not designed for you at this point,” Pistol responds. “Las Vegas is more wild west.”
Hirsch brings along a portfolio of girls to show Pistol that’s he’s serious about continuing with the project but doesn’t want to go any further until he gets a signed deal.
Checking out the folder, Interlandi tells Hirsch he already doesn’t like the first couple of girls and Hirsch gives him a look that could emaciate. Hirsch then asks Interlandi if he’s got a hand in picking girls.
“Yeah but I least I’ve got taste,” Interlandi tells him which prompts Hirsch later to say Interlandi’s “a total moron- I don’t know how we’re going to do business”.
Pistol’s willing at least to give Vivid the opportunity but says he’ll make his own version if they fuck it up. But even Hirsch voices surprise that Pistol gave him the go-ahead.
Nonetheless, Interlandi holds his own casting call, and the guys who generally show up for bukkakes, show up to this one.
“I knew poor Robert was going to be looking at a lot of dicks,” laughs Pistol.
In one segment, Interlandi “takes one for the team” by sexually auditioning a female aspirant. Pistol imagines that Interlandi got more than he bargained for.
“You get the good, the bad, the ugly, sometimes a gem.”
Meanwhile Hirsch’s wife is nagging him about seeing a movie, demanding they spend some time alone.
“I deal with movies all day,” Hirsch tells her.
“These are real movies,” she says. Good point.
In another subplot, unbeknownst to them, Vivid contract girls Meggan Malone and Hanna Hilton are auditioning for parts in Deeper Throat. It’s already been established that Malone had dated Hilton’s boyfriend Jack Venice [maybe three times] who’s now doing a stretch on a rape charge.
Hilton’s also got a few catty remarks to deliver about Malone aided and abetted by Thomas who, like a Shakespearean Iago, doesn’t mind fueling the flames and rubbing some salt in the relationship wounds.
Malone says dealing with the issue is like high school, while Hilton feels that Malone’s sticking a knife in her back. Then she comments how she enjoyed her scene with Manuel Ferrara and knows that Malone’s going to get her “sloppy seconds”.
Thomas has now organized a formal casting call and is using porn performer Voodoo as the literal yardstick of success to determine whether a female performer gets hired. Sunny Lane’s one of those auditioning and feels she impressed the director. Another girl who practically chokes on her dialogue, doesn’t fare as well. And most can’t read a script for shit.
Marci Hirsch, Hirsch’s sister, is of the opinion there are no stand outs as far as beauty but feels they’ve found girls for supporting roles. Neither is Thomas all that crazy about what he’s seen so far.
For the lead, P.T. says he’s looking for a girl next door which was Linda Lovelace’s mysterious appeal. Though P.T. doesn’t sound like he was too excited about Lovelace.
“She was the freckle-face girl next door.”
Thomas says he’s facing an age-old conundrum- does he hire the girl who delivers the best sexual performance or the one who can deliver the lines the best. He feels a combination of the two is what he’s after.
An east coast blonde from New York named Sara comes off cocky and abrasive [Thomas likes her attitude], and Sara tells Thomas sarcastically how he can check her references and deep throat skills.
“The art of deep throat is not to gag and being really accepting of the cock,” Sara theorizes. Which is what they basically teach you in school.
“Sometimes I can get the balls in there, too,” she snarls. “Sometimes I can get down so far that the balls get in my mouth. It really is that serious.”
Sara explains she learned to do it being on the dance circuit and that college was a “fucking waste of time”.
“You’re good,” Thomas tells her thinking earlier she might be a possibility. But soon he and Sara lock horns. She can’t take direction and doesn’t appreciate his critique of her reading.
“Who wrote this?” she wants to know. “I’m intelligent. I’m not an actress. I suck and fuck.”
“You’re starting to act like Mae West,” P.T. tells her.
“Who?
“You know who Mae West is?” Thomas asks
“She’s a little bit before my time,” answers Sara caustically.
Thomas suggests Sara try some Great Garbo in her lines.
“You know who Greta Garbo was?” he then asks.
“No, these people are fucking dead, man!” Sara shouts. “You’re asking me about people my grandfather used to fuck.”
Sara waddles off naked in a monumental huff. Nevertheless, P.T. thinks she’s got something and wants her in the movie.
Thomas is excited about re-making Deep Throat and wants to combine it with Cinderella- which will probably happen as soon as they come for him with a straight jacket and a glass slipper.
Sasha Grey interviews next and Thomas, calling her porn’s new IT girl, has wanted to meet her. Grey figuring that she won an award for oral, says that part of the audition [with a sex toy] should be easy. [But, coyly, none of these demonstrations are ever viewed on camera.]
Honored to audition, Gray, not sure that she got the part, says the first time she ever sucked dick, she was able to deep throat, so she’s probably a natural.
Hirsch’s got an appointment with Kelli McCarty and continually emphasizes the fact to who’s ever within earshot that she was a former Miss USA. A 1991 Miss USA, however, back when she was blonde and obviously a lot younger. As she looks now, McCarty, a nice woman, reminds you a lot of Devin Lane.
“This could be a big deal for us,” Hirsch tells his wife who’s badgering him about keeping a Friday night engagement with another couple.
“It’s never been done before. But I realize it’s not as important as Friday night.”
“When Miss USA decides that she’s going to make a porn movie, people are going to really talk about it,” Hirsh tells McCarty in their conference.
McCarty who can’t escape ongoing references to her former glory, either, says if someone had asked her to do porn back then she would probably have said no.
“But never say never.”
McCarty tells Hirsch that if she’s going to do this, she doesn’t want it to be some sex tape that’s found and sold. [Probably meaning a celebrity tape.]
“You never see celebrities come to you and say I need a career change,” Hirsch chimes in.
“I just want to make a change and I have an idea for a script,” McCarty says.
“This is a genre that would enable me to be a part of this project from beginning to end- let’s make a movie!”
“I’ve never directed a film with anyone the caliber of Miss USA,” an obviously impressed P.T. later intones. “Miss USA is going to get fucked in my movie!”
Thomas now annoyed with everyone asking him how the “fucking script” is coming, wonders if McCarty might be an acceptable lead for the Deeper Throat project.
